I’ve been thinking and learning a lot about trust these last few weeks because of a book about Sabbath I’m reading, ‘God in the Yard’ by Laura Barkat.
Not because the book has anything to do with trust, but because readers are encourged to take time to listen for God in the small, quiet spaces of our days.
It’s in the listening that I’ve uncovered or discovered, maybe begun to re-cover pieces of my childhood.
I have no idea where the discoveries will lead, but I’m finding in the act of setting aside weekly time to just BE with God outside, to look, rest, be open–that this form, the act of making room–is allowing for the discovery.
Throughout her writing Laura Barkat weaves in the challenges of children from families of alcohol and divorce, homes where trust issues, loss and leaving are all a part of growing up. She shares her own personal struggles and the words resonate with me–my family was like that.
I’ve seen how I carried my defenses and behaviours, my attitudes and fears about trust and authority into my grown up-ness and into my marriage. Not in a good way.
What led to this revelation? Making a space, small at first, for God to drop in His light.
Here is an illustration from writer Gertrud Nelson, cited by Barkat:
God is speaking to me, revealing things to me, not because of any discipline or ‘have-to’s’ or shoulds on my part but simply because I’ve created a conduit, a container, a small place for Him to start to pour healing in.
As I said, I have no idea where this will lead, but He is a faithful, kind Father whose greatest joy is to bring me into healing and freedom.
I’m looking forward to the journey…….with my bucket and shovel in hand.
**From Week 5 of “God in the Yard–Sky: Gratitude”