There’s a Christmas song going around in my head as I start the New Year. The song is, of course, ‘Amazing Grace.’ What, that’s not a Christmas song? But isn’t that what God’s arrival on earth as a walking-around-among-ushuman was? Is? Amazing grace…
Extended over and over again as Jesus makes His way into our lives, moving into our world right where we are in our fallenness and humanness.
I’m banking on that daily this year as I move forward….for that is the only direction we can go—falling forward, even though (true confession) one might feel like a fraud.
Not in a stop-what-you’re-doing-and-rest-for-an-entire-day-kind of Sabbath—because that’s not doable in my world. No, I mean Sabbathing on the Page—taking an hour a day or an hour a week to steal away and listen to the Holy Spirit speak and write down what you hear.
The importance of listening and stillness came home to me three Januaries ago when I read this book by LL Barkat (who coined the idea of ‘Sabbath on the Page’). I am passionate about the practice, primarily because of personal revelations that came to me and my confidence God wants to lead others in hearing from Him this way.
I’ve shared about it at a Retreat, blogged about it, and consider it in thought and practice the foundation of my small space here on the internet.
But the reality? Stealing away to listen and write, be still and hear God’s voice hasn’t happened much this past year. Hence the fraud feeling. There have been very, very few hours I could call my own. At the end of a long day of work, running errands and involvement at church and Life in General, there’s just no time.
The longing to get away is what I miss, the excitement of hearing from God, the confidence He will speak, the intimacy afforded me with my Jesus while I just sit.
What’s changed in the last two years? Well, my husband retired; he’s home all the time. I suppose that’s a practical answer, but maybe it’s just an excuse. If I really thought an hour alone outside every day was important, I’d make a way.
So I’m penciling in writing time this year and quiet-out-on-the-deck listening time, even if it’s only once a week.
Because….God’s grace~He just says, “Come.”
So I will begin, standing at the the edge of the puddle that is my life…. Amorpohous right now, changing and moving, blown about by the wind. But as I step towards the quiet, still center, there I’ll see my reflection—find who I am, who God is, as I lean in and find the beauty mirroring back to me in the skies….
This song by Fernando Ortega really ministered to me this week: