Sometimes, finding growth in your life takes some digging.  Or just looking closely.
I’ve been feeling a little discontent in my spirit the last few months, lamenting that I just don’t 
‘feel’ God like I used to.
I’m a pretty emotional person and I tend to judge whether God is moving based on how He did in the past.
Like when I was touched by a gentle hand and knocked to the floor, overflowing with laughter, for 15 minutes.
But that happened once.
Or when I sat in my dining room while a piece of music washed over me and I wept tears of joy at God’s golden goodness right there with me.
But that happened once.
God’s presence and power make sense to me if I can measure it via my senses–am I weeping, lifting my hands, overcome with joy?
What I’m sensing lately is God saying He not only wants me to live by faith, not my feelings, 
but He has made it pretty clear He’s going to move the way HE wants to.
Whether I feel Him or not.
I’ve written more than once in this space about the need to seek God for fresh manna DAILY.
Don’t look for the same ol’, same ol’, the comfortable, familiar ways but something N E W.
Maybe that piece of music won’t move you the way it did before.  
Maybe your posture in church won’t produce the power you felt last Sunday.  
Maybe sitting on the deck listening for his voice will prove fruitless this time–no revelation at all.
Well. What was that I said earlier?
I need to seek Him daily for fresh, new manna.
I looked up the word “new”–a tired, overworked word 
applied to everything from dish soap to cars.
Those three letters are rather inadequate to convey the full meaning.
Here’s what I found:
1. ‘appearing, thought of, developed, made, etc. for the first time.
                                (so you may not recognize it as the new normal)
 2. ‘different from the one in the past‘  
                               (don’t try to live on or do what “used to work” to bring you joy or make you feel close to God.)
3. strange, unfamiliar (again, it may LOOK different)
and the last definition that just got me:
4.  ‘unused’
“Well, duh,” I thought
“Who wants a used new?”
No, me neither…
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